Before you get married in Colorado or anywhere, as a wedding officiant and communication coach…
I recommend you both ponder these questions individually, then make a sacred time, or times, to have a dialogue. Be painfully honest, yet compassionate.
If your partner did not change much at all over the years (from how they are now) would that be okay with you?
Are you able to say what you really feel and/or think about anything to your partner?
Can you accept that there are times you do not really like each other, but your love is bigger & deeper than that (and you’ll like them again)?
Do you have a way to communicate around your differences of seeing/doing things?
Do you respect one another?
Do you do what you need to take care of yourself (create space for example) within the relationship? If not, resentment will build. You might discuss how you can do that w/o feeling guilty or creating blame.
If you can accept that sometimes you project your neurosis and/or problems onto one another, and own it when you recognize it (or it is pointed out) – that will go a long way in healing any hurts between you.
Accept responsibility for the relationship – each one of you. Get help when you need it; ask for time to sit and talk things out when necessary; remember the relationship is an entity unto itself and needs special time and attention.
Cultivate compassion, practice patience, and always maintain a healthy sense of humor!
I am a relationship and communication coach. Please feel to call on me now or later if need be. Planning a wedding can be stressful.
I wish for you ease, compassion and much love.
Carolyn
p.s. You may also contact me through my Facebook page.
