Stress free wedding?

Getting married this year?

I know it can be stressful, and it is hopefully a fun memorable experience. As a wedding officiant I can tell you that I see a lot of stressed out brides! So here is the key. Include another woman in your plans; one who will be supportive and listen. Studies have shown that relating to another women is much more helpful than to a man. We love them, obviously, but don’t count on them for giving you the same kind of support a woman can. Men are from Mars…
 
Take the time in your planning schedule for self-care.

Not just the day or two before the weddings, but in all the months ahead of time. Take long baths, get massages, go for walks in Nature. Do whatever it is that helps you feel grounded and centered. When trying to make decisions, let go of the stranglehold your mind has on the situation and tune into your heart. Simply put your hand on your heart and breath. Feel the connection to something greater than yourself, whatever you call it. Ask for guidance. You may be surprised at how well this works for clarity in a situation.


And as I’ve said before, turn everything over to your organized friend the day before, or at least the morning of your wedding. Some DJs are good at telling you what you need to do next. You do not want to be thinking about when to cut the cake or anything other than being present with yourself, your sweetie, your friends and family.
 
I will help you in being present for the actual ceremony! Or whoever you choose to officiate your Colorado Western Slope wedding, indoors or out, ask them what they do to help you and your guests be present during this important ceremony.
 
Then relax and have the time of your life!

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By Carolyn Ringo 08 Jan, 2024
I was following the bride and groom driving up Kebler pass in Western Colorado, autumn colors ablaze. They kept pulling over periodically to determine if this was the RIGHT place. I was enjoying every moment of relaxed time spent in so much beauty. Eventually we stopped, they set up their video recorder on their tripod in the weeds, and the ceremony they envisioned began! Yellow aspen, orange scrub oak, and dazzling tall pines all witnessing this sacred event. Private ceremonies like this, ceremonies for 2 including a photographer, parties of 20 or 150, all work for me. I am so honored and happy to be a part of something so beautiful, so rich and full of love, that it matters not to me how many are in attendance or how fancy anyone is dressing, or what the venue is. Whether or not the wedding costs $500 or $25,000 is not for me to judge. I am here to give you all I have from planning the ceremony with you, sharing pointers to create more ease, and officiating what others tell me is an excellent delivery with sentiments to remember for all relationships. Contact me for a free consultation. I did officiate a wedding in a hot air balloon over Ridgway once and that was especially fun! Jeeps can be rented in Ouray to go up Yankee Boy Basin, one of the most beautiful places in the world. Vineyards in Palisade or intimate backyard weddings are equally joyful. Western Colorado wedding venues abound as it is filled with the most beautiful lakes, mountains and forests enabling you to have it anywhere that feels good to you. Sometimes the photographer picks the spot, sometimes a wedding planner. The most beautiful weddings I have ever done, large or small, have been in places the bride and groom picked themselves. I can help you with your choice in some locations. Contact me for a free consultation to talk about how I can help you create the ceremony reflective of your values.
By Carolyn Ringo 03 Aug, 2023
(Wow, I finally paid for the ad!) Katie & Will lived in Denver and were to be married in Ouray with about 80 guests in attendance. The three of us had a few informative phone conversations and a few detailed email exchanges. On my hour and 45 minute drive to Ouray the day before the wedding I was feeling both excitement and ease because I felt such a good connection with this bride and groom. And I was staying overnight in Ouray - almost a vacation along with officiating a wedding in the mountains! What could be better? Well it gets better… They had told me about an old historical hotel that was inexpensive for Ouray and several of their peeps were staying there. I had been invited to the rehearsal dinner and was somewhat apprehensive since as the “minister” I am often treated differently. What a pleasant surprise for all of us! The groom and I got a chance to talk about his jitters and the things he and I could do to ease them. I got to remind the bride to assign her “coordinator” Aunt and “let go” by at least the next morning. (It gifts your friends and family to be ask to do something for your wedding. This allows you to be present for your own ceremony, enjoy your friends and family and not have to think about what goes where or comes next in the sequence of events.) A few 4-wheel drive vehicles owned by the wedding party (this is Colorado) took us up into the mountains to a meadow flanked by rock walls and giant old trees. Rehearsing with parents, the ring bearers and all 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen in the exact spot was such a relief. We all knew what to do when and figured out how the bride could “enter” in this setting. Everyone felt more at ease as we bumped our way back down the mountain. Refreshingly, the rehearsal dinner was outside in a local park with food made by friends and family. I was delighted to be part of many intriguing conversations with people of all ages. I went back to my room and rewrote much of the ceremony on my laptop, as I had gotten a much better feel for these two lovely people. They choose not to write their own ceremony (other than the vows) and let me surprise them. The next morning it took me some time to find a place in little Ouray to reprint the ceremony, but the library came through. A wonderful woman in a gift shop even provided me with nice paper from her own stash. After my printing foray up and down the mountainous towns sidewalks there was still ample time and energy for a hike before I needed to shower and prepare myself. The hotel was gracious in allowing me coming back in to shower and dress in the shared bathrooms, even after I had checked out of my room. We gathered to pile into the large open jeeps they had hired to take all 70 of us up the rocky road. I said to the jeep driver, “My hair will get messed up.” He said, “That’s the least of your worries honey.” “But I’m the officiant.” “Oh well, in that case you can ride in the cab with me.” Yippee. (Remember, I show up in many of the ceremony pictures and I don’t want to embarrass anyone. :-) ) They had a canopy set up with delicious drinks to refresh their guests before and after the ceremony. Containers of wild flowers adorned the mowed meadow, along with a few folding chairs for parents, grandparents and those who needed to sit. People cheered their friends/the wedding party as they walked up the aisle. It was such a light good-hearted crowd. The brother of the bride read a poem during the ceremony and the groom’s stepfather told a little history story. It felt like all of us gathered were participants in their marriage. As they walked “out” lavender was thrown to bless them and the meadow. Many people asked me how long I had known the couple because “the ceremony was written just for them.” I like to connect with people afterward so I can possibly pick up any constructive feedback. “What a beautiful thoughtful ceremony,” is what I heard most that day. The jeep drivers who had been waiting some distance away said they could hear everything I said because voices reverberated off the rock cliffs. Those crusty old guys and younger ski types were even impressed with the beauty of it all. Everyone headed back down for the party at the historic hotel. It looked wonderful but it was time for me to head home, via the hot springs. What an honor and delight it was to be a part of this new beginning for Katie and Will.
By Carolyn Ringo 03 Aug, 2023
Tip #1 - Shaping the Wedding Party for Best Results As the officiant I like to have the couple be able to look at me, at one another and at their guests. So stand with one foot slightly forward of the other so you are grounded, yet stable for turning a bit. Mostly you are facing one another, but slightly more facing toward your guests. If you have bridesmaids and groomsmen, have them stand the same way, fanning out into a wide V shape. This looks great for photos and allows your joyous faces to be seen by those who love you! Tip #2 - Seating the Parents for the Ceremony Have your parents sit (or stand) on the opposite side from you. Even though the tradition of “bride’s side or groom’s side”, is no longer in vogue, parents and immediate family still tend to gravitate toward that side. As the minister, the bride would be on my right. If her parents are on my left as I face the guests, they would be able to see her face – which is what they really want to see, right?! Tip #3 - Relaxing into the Day Give away control! Unless you have a wedding planner, as the bride you are likely running the show. Ask a relative or friend who is good at organizing and being in charge to take over for you the evening before, or at least the morning of your wedding. As the officiant I have seen many a frazzled bride still trying to make sure everything goes right before during and after. You want to be relaxed and present for your own wedding. And those who care about you will be honored to be asked. So designate that person, let them know what you want, and then turn it over to them before the rehearsal (if you have one), or at the very latest, the morning of your wedding. Tip #4 - Don’t Expect Everything To Go as Planned As with any big event, regardless of excellent planning, some things will not turn out the way you imagined. Just knowing that in advance will help you let go and enjoy all the wonders of the day without dwelling on the things that were less than perfect. Tip #5 - Kids and Rings If you have a ring bearer, do NOT let him/her carry the actual rings! (I once cut the ribbon around the neck on a Labrador who was the ring bearer.) I have seen the wedding rings sinking to the bottom of a pond. Give them pretend rings and leave the real rings to the Best Man and/or Maid of Honor, or let your officiant hold them. And while on the subject of kids, they almost never do what you think they are going to, especially if they are under the age of 5. So let whatever happens be okay. Just make sure someone is in charge of their safety and let the rest unfold as it will. They sometimes add humor to the ceremony! Tip #6 - Not Too Short on the Ceremony I often hear, “short and concise,” as a descriptive of what the couple want for their ceremony. Do not short change yourselves or your guests. This is your opportunity to declare what you are committing to and the path you are laying out for your future together. A well written ceremony can be quite sweet, personal, moving, inspiring, or humorous. Fifteen to twenty minutes is about right for your guests to feel like you just got married and be ready to help you celebrate. Tip #7 - A Wedding Ceremony is Serious, It Does Not Have To Be Solemn This is a sacred ceremony, and it is a human ceremony. Sometimes things happen that, if we can be relaxed enough to see the humor in them, will change the tone of the occasion to one of lightness alongside the seriousness. I have had many laughs with the bride and groom during the ceremony and it just makes it all the more fun and no less sacred. Tip#8 - Decide Word for God, or . . . What the officiant (or minister) believes, may not be relevant to your wedding. (Unless you are picking them precisely for their religious beliefs.) I always ask the bride and groom in the course of my getting to know them, what their word(s) for God is. It may be Spirit, Higher Power, God, Essence or any number of other words. One couple I married called this energy, Prime Mover. Okay. I will use the words or word that you both are okay with, maybe one for each of you. Or not use any word at all for God if that is your preference. This is your ceremony, make sure it reflects who you are, individually and as a couple. Tip #9 - Tell Your Guest What to Do Most often the bride and groom want to take photos immediately after the ceremony and then be congratulated and hugged. (All that hugging can really mess up your hair and make-up!) You want to get this part over with and on to the party – right? Ask your officiant to step forward after the wedding party has walked back out/down the aisle and before the parents go, to step forward and say what you want them to do. For example, “Paul & Susie ask that you enjoy cocktails and appetizers while they take a few photos. They will join you after that and have asked that you wait until then to congratulate them.” Tip #10 - Read or Repeat Vows? There are two type of vows, the “I do” vows and the ring exchange vows. I always ask the couple to write their own vows, regardless of how much of the ceremony I am writing. I do have example vows on my website so they may pick one of those if it feels right, or use a piece from one and another, or just get inspired to write their own entirely. The “I do” vows are usually the same for the bride as the groom, but they don’t have to be. The ring vows are sometimes a surprise to each other and quite different. If you are very timid about public speaking you may wish to repeat the vows after the officiant. If you do not have a voice that projects and are not using a microphone, you may want the minister to read them for you to repeat. If you choose to read them, practice them aloud beforehand. I always have them in large print in my notebook so you can have your hands free and look at your beloved standing before you. Either way, ask your officiant to say something like, “Now you may read (or repeat after me) the vows you have written,” so your guests know they are your own vows. I perform wedding ceremonies in Ouray, Ridgway, Montrose, Delta, Grand Junction, Glenwood Springs, Carbondale, Aspen, Edwards, and of course the North Fork Valley where I live. I am open to traveling just about anywhere on the Western Slope
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