I recently officiated a wedding in Grand Junction that was so stressful to the bride that she began yelling at everyone who came near her before the ceremony began.
By the time she walked down the aisle she had pasted a smile on her face and perhaps no one, except those in the line of fire, knew what turmoil her insides were in. However the scowl on her bridesmaids faces were somewhat of a giveaway.
Why does this happen? Well of course this is in part, due to personality. At the rehearsal the bride and groom told me of how bad everything was going.
Being able to put your attention on the positive is helpful, as is expecting what you want.
The main key to more peace on your wedding day, and throughout the planning process is to ask for help . . . and let go of control.
Most brides I work with do their own planning. Do what you can given your available time and energy. Ask others to do what is reasonable given their schedule and disposition. Let the rest go. Just like there is no Shangri-La, there is no “perfect” wedding. Always something will not go as planned.
Preferably the evening prior to the ceremony, or at least by the morning of the big day, turn it all over to someone, or several someones to carry out your plans. People love to help and you’ll be giving them a gift by asking and placing your trust in them.
Have a young person be in charge of the guest book, and/or passing out bubbles or whatever it may be. You want someone to whisper in your ear when it’s time to throw the bouquet or cut the cake. A good DJ can do much of this, but it’s still best to have someone who knows you and your plans intimately to consult with him/her about timing.
Also have a written list for the photographer about family groups and other special photos you want to have taken. Give the list to someone who knows your family and friends to help round them up for the photographs. This will save a lot of time.
Bottom line here is that you do not have to get stressed out and have that infect anyone’s memory of the day of love and fun!
Think ahead, share responsibilities, and accept that there are going to be glitches in paradise. Be present with your new husband and your guests on this fine day.